In the business of changing our lives, language is everything. How we say things to others and to ourselves, can be the difference of being successful or not. I wear many hats, and in one of these hats we have this saying “words mean things”. It’s a funny saying because of course words mean things, but specific words are meant for specific things. No two words can describe the same thing quite the same way. In the case of this specific job, words meaning things could quite literally be the difference between life and death. In terms of our mental health, resiliency, and successes our language could also literally be the difference between the life or death of being the best versions of ourselves.
When describing types of communicators we have two styles, implied and literal communicators. An implied communicators says one thing but implies another. A literal communicator says what they mean and means what they say. We all fall into one of these two styles. The implied communicating style is dangerous. This style of communicating can hide things from the people we are communicating with, even if it’s unintentional. The message can get lost, be misunderstood, and cause conflict. The best way to communicate with others is to be as literal as you can. “Say what you mean and mean what you say.” I definitely fall into this category, and I really struggle with implied communicators. I frequently misinterpret what they mean, and often end up very frustrated.
Now that we understand types of interpersonal communicators, let’s discuss intrapersonal language a bit. The picture above has many great examples of how if we change our words we can change our lives! Our minds are so powerful, as we know, and that includes how we talk to ourselves.
Some specific ways we can change our language are changing specific words we use. Instead of asking ourselves “why” we can’t do something, start asking yourself “how” you can do something. Instead of saying, “Why can’t I lose weight?” ask, “How can I be better about losing weight?”
Another one that has been drilled into our heads forever, but we just don’t seem understand is using (or not using) the word “can’t”. It’s not a matter of “can’t”, it’s a matter of “won’t”. When we say we can’t do something, it’s most likely a reality that we won’t do it. Can’t is a condition (incapable), but won’t is a decision. What are you going to decide? Choose to start using the words can and will.
The last language tip I’ll leave you with is to be future minded. Stop describing your past; start prescribing your future. Say things like “I am doing awesome.” “I will be a great athlete.” “I am studying now, so that I will be a successful doctor.” This one has been a game changer for me. I have always said things like “I hate running. I’ve never been good at it.” Or “I’ve never liked vegetables.” I’ve recently changed my story to “I love running, and I will be a good runner!” and “I do like cucumbers; they are tasty.” Guess what? I enjoy running now and I love cucumbers! It’s amazing what our brains can do when we start using different language.
“Change your words, change your mind!”
I hope you all have a fantastic Monday and a great rest of your week! I’ll leave you with my FTP and I hope you choose to leave yours in the comments below! As always, if you ever have questions, comments, or just need somebody to talk to feel free to reach out via email.
- I had a fantastic weekend with friends! I got to stay the weekend with my best friend. We had dinner and saw a movie with a group; it was a lot of fun!
- I got promoted at one of my several jobs. It was an automatic promotion, but it feels great to be moving up!
- I was able to spend some time reading one of my favorite books last night. I made time to decompress and relax by enjoying a little Harry Potter before bed.
AT CHOICE 