Hi friends! I hope you’ve enjoyed hump day, and that your week is going well so far! I was inspired by a couple of friends to post something a little different today. Instead of posting a new skill in the skills page, I’m going to share a few of my personal favorite relaxing and resetting techniques.
Before I get into what I like to do for stress management, I first want to give you all a little insight into why I have developed these techniques. I believe that at some point in our lives we will all deal with mental health issues; whether that’s depression, anxiety, or a number of other diseases, we will all deal with it at some point. I don’t mean we all will go to a counselor or psychologist and be diagnosed with one of these things. I just mean we will all notice ourselves getting in a funk or being a little more anxious some days.
With all that being said, I am not excluded from this. My family has a history of anxiety, depression, alcoholism, and suicide. Mental health is linked to genetics, so of course I deal with mental health struggles. For me that typically looks like anxiety. I’m a perfectionist and have subtle OCD tendencies. I worry, I get nervous, and I do this thing called catastrophizing. Catastrophizing is when you have a bad thought you begin to spiral down a rabbit hole of exaggerated negative thoughts. For example one might say, “I’m scared of flying.” This may lead to “What if my seat belt is broken?” “What if it’s broken and then we lose an engine and begin to fall out of the sky?” “Then, what if we crash in the middle of the ocean and end up like the people on the show Lost?”, etc. You get the idea. I do this. This used cause me to get knots in my stomach and literally shake because I would get so worried and nervous. Also, I live pretty far north, and every winter I notice that I begin to get Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This is extremely common for people who live in climates with real winters.
Alright, now that I’ve shared my struggles with you, I want to share with you my techniques for combating these struggles. When I was young, I wasn’t as self-aware and didn’t realize I did many of these things, or if I did know I didn’t know I could learn to control them. Now, though, I can sense my anxiety and drop in mood coming on and begin my process of beating them. Usually, I will notice my negative attitude and literally tell myself to stop. Sometimes I say it in my head, but sometimes I’ll actually say “stop” out loud. I will then begin what is called positive self-talk. Just tell myself truths that are positive in nature. It’s important to not lie to yourself, but we still need to be positive. For example, if you’re nervous for a volleyball game you could tell yourself that you are the greatest known volleyball player in all of history and that you are going to beat your opponent 25-0. But that’s probably not true. A better thing to tell yourself would be, “I’ve worked really hard for this. I know we may not be the best team of all time, but we work really well together and we know our plays backwards and forwards. I know we have a very good chance of beating this team!” Notice the difference between lying to yourself to feel better, and telling yourself the truth in a positive way.
Some of my other favorite things to do are deep breathing exercises, meditation (which helps me learn to instinctively use deep breathing), yoga, and other forms of exercise such as running and lifting weights. Sometimes, I also get really overwhelmed by being around people ALL THE TIME. I’m an introvert at heart. This can really get me bogged down mentally. So I have learned how to be by myself. I regularly take myself out for solo dates. I like to go out for a meal and then a movie. (I recently had a friend who heard me talking about this. A couple days later he told me he tried it out and said it was one of the best things and plans on doing it again!) I also love being outdoors, so occasionally I’ll go out hiking, kayaking, or just laying out at the beach/lake. I’ll just go someplace to be by myself and give my mind a break from other people.
Alright guys, this was a lot of stuff. These techniques and activities work for me, but that doesn’t mean they’ll all work for you. Maybe one or two will, but maybe none of them are your thing. That’s okay. Find something for yourself that you enjoy doing. Become self-aware of what your mind does in times of anxiety and depression, and practice combating it before it takes control of you. (I say practice because I know this is much easier said than done and like every skill it does take practice!) Whatever you find works for you, make it a habit. Do it regularly. Take those mental health days and care for yourself!
As always, if you have questions, comments, or just want to chat and connect with someone please feel free to reach out!
AT CHOICE 